Pockets Full of Stones

[viviansface]

Title: Pockets Full of Stones
Author: viviansface
Band(s): My Chemical Romance
Pairing(s): Frank/Gerard
Word Count: ~17k
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): use of superpowers, minor character death
Summary:

When Gerard hooks up with Carl Saporta, his father (Gabe Saporta, a.k.a the richest man of the village) sends a few hunters after him. And he wants him dead - and so Gerard has to leave his life behind and run. Frank, on the other hand, is a boy that's just turned eighteen and he's as innocent as a flower. Mainly because Jamia locked him up in an old tower years ago - to protect his gift. Frank has the power to heal wounds and erase any signs of aging with his hands.

And so it happens that Gerard finds this exact tower, climbs it and meets Frank. Long story short; they decide to run away together.

Full masterpost with links to bonus content can be found here at my livejournal.



Hooking up with the town’s richest man’s daughter will put you in jail, or it will get you killed.

And Gerard is just about to find out what happens when you hook up with his son.

Gabe Saporta is an awful, fat man. Really. If there was a book with a description of every single person living in this small village, the word near Gabe’s name would be either “fat” or “arrogant”. Or Gerard thinks so. His opinion on Gabe Saporta is very different from his opinion on Saporta’s son; though – young Carl Saporta is handsome, muscular and pretty to look at. That’s why he hooks up with him. It’s not like he feels anything towards him, no.

Maybe if there was love binding them, Gerard wouldn’t have so much trouble deciding if it was worth it. Was Carl’s sweet, tight ass worth this? Considering that the old dog Saporta has sent six hunters after Gerard… well, no. It wasn’t worth it at all.

But it’s not that he regrets it, either – the only thing he regrets is that he has to run away. The hunters would have killed him if he didn’t. He passes the “Welcome to Little Sweetlings” sign on his way out, running as fast as he can. And when he hears gunshots after him, he runs even quicker and leaves it all behind, including his brother Mikey.

So this is what happens when you hook up with the town’s richest man’s son. You lose everything.

~

Frank is staring out the window, which he does quite often. His days consist of a very few things – he wakes up, he tries to waste his time with something pointless like cooking or knitting, and then he falls asleep. He watches the sun fall down and he watches it rise up, and he wishes he could be outside and experience it like that. He feels tamed in this tower and even the window he finds the most joy in seems like a trap.

Frank knows this is the best for him. He knows he has to stay inside, he understands everything Jamia has ever told him. He knows he could easily lose his gift if he went outside, or that people could use it, but sometimes… Sometimes he just can’t see it like that. All he sees is four walls squeezing and smothering him and it makes him want to to fly out the window. He wouldn’t even mind if he ended up like a human omelet on the ground with blood everywhere around him and with a heart that’s stopped beating. He wouldn’t care.

At times like these, he stares down at his hands and prays for a miracle.

What would it be like if he was normal? He’s pretty sure he wouldn’t miss his power at all. So he wouldn’t be able to heal anyone with his hands, so what? It’s not like he uses it, anyway. Yeah, sometimes Jamia asks him to smooth her skin and erase her wrinkles, but that’s all. It’s to no use. His gift protects him from getting hurt, but what is that worth if he stays here all the time?

~

It’s the end of October and it’s his birthday. Jamia brought him a little puppy to “keep him company” while she’s away most of the time. Even though Frank falls in love with the small pug, it’s not what he’d hoped for. Not to celebrate that he’s eighteen now.

“Jamia, can I ask you something?” he peeps up shyly, petting the pug in his lap idly. When she nods, he drops his gaze. “If I wanted to do something… would you let me do it?”

Jamia’s eyes narrow, but she seems to stay calm. That’s good, at least he didn’t piss her off. “Depends on what you’d want to do,” she says diplomatically in the end and tries to laugh it off.

Frank sighs, already regretting what he’s about to do. He gathers up the courage and looks up at her, his lips trembling. He can’t even tell what kind of relationship they have, but it sure isn’t love. Jamia always seemed to be like an older sister – a lot older – and even though Frank asked about his parents, he never got any answer. Jamia is his family. And that’s it.

“I want to…” he takes a deep breath. The puppy jumps off of his lap awkwardly, sensing his fear and nervousness, and he lets it go. “I just want to get out of here. For a few hours, or – or for a few minutes, y-you know?” he stutters when he sees a spark of darkness rush through Jamia’s eyes.

“Why would you want that?” she asks right back and he can sense that she’s mad. There’s this something in her voice; it sounds like hissing, but not quite. Frank can’t put his finger on it, but he knows that when she’s like that, she’s like a snake. With poison waiting at the tip of her tongue.

“Because I’m eighteen,” he says and exhales exasperatedly. “And I’m stuck in here all the time. Why can’t I go outside? You go outside all the time and I’m so jealous of it, I want it as well! I feel so trapped inside, in this room, and I just…” He trails off, sighing.

“You know why you can’t go outside,” Jamia snarls at him and her voice sounds just like his own – scared. “People will want to use you, and they’ll hurt you. You have such an amazing gift and you just can’t go outside like that, because people – “

“It’s not like I have it written on my forehead!” Frank snaps and the rage in him helps him overcome his fear from what might happen next. He’s already in so much trouble for asking; he might as well continue and try to win this battle. “I look just like you! How could people tell that I have magic hands that glow and heal from just looking at me? How?”

Jamia grabs Frank’s shoulder roughly and pulls him closer. “People are evil, Frank. They’ll get under your skin, you’ll be fooled by them and you’ll tell them your secret, and then they’ll shamelessly betray you.”

“I said a few minutes, Jamia,” Frank argues with a stern voice. “And I didn’t say anything about meeting other people. I could stay here, near the tower, and I’d just lie in the grass. I wouldn’t go anywhere.”

He knows it’s his last chance and it shows in his voice in how desperate it sounds. Jamia purses her lips at that, almost as if she was considering it, but the grip of her fingers is still too strong. Frank knows there will be bruises.

“No,” she says in the end and finally lets go of him, taking a step back. “You’re not leaving. Do you understand, Frank? You’re not leaving this room, this tower… ever.” Something about her words is harsh and final. It leaves Frank breathless and even though there’s still the same battle going on inside of him, he can’t bring himself to say anything back. Jamia has won, and she will always win from now on.

He watches her take her cloak and put it on. She seems almost like a robot. He thinks back to all the times where she made him heal her and make her young again, and suddenly, he can’t help but feel like she’s the one using him. But… she’s his only family, maybe that’s why she’s not scared to ask. That’s why she takes care of him, that’s why she wastes her life with him. Because she cares, because she loves him. They only have each other. Maybe, if he tried really hard… maybe he could understand. Maybe it would be easier to stay here, then. She’s probably doing it just because she’s afraid to lose him, not because she wants his gift, right?

“I’m really sorry you ruined the evening,” she growls from behind her gritted teeth as she buttons the cloak up and heads for the door. “I’ll give you some time to think about what I said. Will you have enough food if I leave for a few days?”

“Yes,” Frank answers without thinking about it, maybe a bit too eager. Despite everything else he’s been thinking, a few days without Jamia could give him peace. Maybe he could manage to run away somehow, even when his rooms are too high and the door is made of iron.

“Okay, then,” she says and fixes her hair. She rests her hand on the doorknob and Frank has to look away so the lust to run away from here wouldn’t be so present in his eyes. “I’ll be back in three days’ time, then. Take care of yourself.”

Frank just nods and stares at her back when she walks out the door and slams it behind her. The little pug barks madly a few times, as if it felt sympathy for Frank, and he picks it up from the ground.

“Don’t worry, she’s gone now,” he reassures the small drooling thing and pretends that he’s just trying to comfort himself. “Hey, I need to give you a name,” he says a little bit more cheerfully and holding the pug’s paw, he shakes it slightly. “How ‘bout Spencer, huh? Sounds nice enough to you?”

Spencer licks Frank’s face and that’s it for them.

Later that night, when Frank is curled up in his bed watching the shadows on his ceiling, an uneasy feeling falls onto his chest. He replays his last conversation with Jamia in his mind and comes to the conclusion that things have changed. She’s not so gentle with him anymore and that part of him never leaving the tower still scares him. They weren’t just words – it was more like a promise Jamia would always stand up to. Frank knows, he can sense it. Oh my God and the feeling of being trapped is even stronger.

He doesn’t even know how or when, instead of love he begins to feel aversion towards her. Something tells him that she’s not even his real family and that she is using him for her own purposes. And he doesn’t like that. He wants to be free, he wants the freedom to nestle in his chest, and the more he thinks about it, the more he craves it. The decision to really run away doesn’t come easily to him, but it’s there in the end. He has to run away. He has to.

Maybe he could tie all his sheets together and then maybe climb down the tower somehow. He doesn’t know how he’ll do it, but he knows he’ll think of something.

So far, he’s only sure about two things – that he’s taking Spencer with him and that he’ll start with his plan right the next day.

~

The next day, though, doesn’t start out very well. He’s woken up by strange noises he’s never heard before, Spencer barking, and there’s also something that reminds Frank of someone breathing heavily.

And, well, to say the least, Frank panics. The noise comes closer with every second and by the time that someone who’s making it reaches the window, Frank is already fretting. He’s got his knees pushed up to his chest and he’s squeezing Spencer, clutching onto him. Not to mention that his sheets are pulled up to his eyes (not covering him at all). He considers running for the closet or for the bathroom, but it’s too late. He’s basically frozen in his spot, anyway; it’s not like he could move, never mind run.

The first thing Frank sees is black hair. He’s never seen such a color before – his own hair is dark brown, very close to black, but this – this is raven. This is darker than dark chocolate, it’s darker than the night; it’s scary.

The other thing he gets to see, though, are the guy’s eyes. They’re not dark at all – they’re green. He doesn’t really take any time to observe it further.

“Oh,” the man says, one of his legs still hung over the edge of the window. He seems to be frozen as well, because he stares at Frank without any sign of shame on his face. “I thought no one lived here,” he utters and jumps into Frank’s room with rebound confidence. He wipes his hands against his brown pants and although he smiles, he remains standing by the window.

“Who are you?” Frank asks in a high-pitched voice and Spencer growls low in his throat. Everything in him is screaming to get away somehow and the fact that he can’t is killing him. This guy could kill him. He could rip his throat out, he could try and beat him to death, he could... He could do so many things and Frank would just have to take it, because he doesn’t have the key to the iron door. And he would probably still survive because of his stupid hands.

“You know, you shouldn’t leave your window open,” the guy advises him instead of answering him and looks Frank up and down. “Are you cold or why are you all wrapped up in your bed sheets?”

“Who the hell are you?” Frank asks again trying to sound less scared and not succeeding very well.

“Look, I’m not going to hurt you,” the boy informs him and waves his hand. “I was being chased, I saw a tower and I climbed it. That’s it. I’m not here because I want your money or whatever, so stop freaking out.”

Frank’s just about to make a sarcastic remark on the fact that he doesn’t have any money at all when the guy’s last words make their way to his head. “How exactly should I do that? You’re the first person to climb up to my window and I don’t even know you, of course I’m freaking out!”

Spencer barks when he hears Frank raise the tone of his voice and the boy hisses as if all the noise made him strangely uncomfortable in his own skin.

“I promise I’m not going to hurt you, okay, man? It would just help me a lot if I could crash here and sleep for a while. I haven’t slept in days.”

Frank narrows his eyes and lets the sheets slide down to his chin. Isn’t this just a great opportunity? This guy doesn’t look dangerous – he just looks tired, exhausted. And Jamia is gone for three days, and Frank wants to run away… and this intruder could help him out. He wouldn’t climb the tower if he didn’t know how to get back down, right? Frank bites down on his lip anxiously and looks this stranger up and down. He does look harmless, but then – a murderer can look harmless as well.

You want to live outside? Well, maybe it’s time to take your first risks, something in his mind tells him and Frank, with a heart beating so fast in his tiny chest that it could just as well explode, decides to listen to it.

He nods. “You can sleep over there,” he says still rather quietly and points to the sofa in the corner of the room with his bony finger.

As he lets out these words, the expression on the boy’s face softens and he nods. He practically runs over to the small couch and sits down on it, looking up at Frank. “Thank you. Seriously, thank you so much. I owe you one,” he acclaims and with that, he falls onto his back with a deep sigh and closes his eyes.

Frank doesn’t really say anything to it. He lets the guy sleep in peace, coming back to the “I owe you” part. Maybe it would be only fair if Frank asked him for help. Yes, that’s just about right.

~

The guy seems to be completely knocked out. Frank hesitantly leaves his bed a few minutes after his new roommate closes his eyes and goes for the bathroom. After he’s done with that, he comes back and, dressed up in his regular clothes (carefully buttoned up shirt, black pants, bare feet), he sits back down on his bed. Spencer comes to him in a bit and Frank thinks it’s for cuddling, but – no. Apparently, the dog wants to eat.

And so Frank gets up, still careful as to not wake the stranger up, and goes for dog food. He’s just about to put down Spencer’s bowl of meat on the floor when it slips out of his fingers and makes a mess. And also, an awfully loud noise. That’s what you get for trying to be tolerant and quiet.

Frank looks up at the guy with his nose scrunched up, expecting to see him with a deadly glare, but he’s still sound asleep. He must have been telling the truth when he said he hadn’t slept in days.

Frank sighs and after cleaning up the food from the floor, he retreats back to his bed. He sits down on it once again and it turns out that this is probably the best spot he could have picked. He can see the guy’s face from the best angle; and that’s exactly what he does. He just watches the stranger sleep. To be honest, his face is sort of haunting; with those eyes and with that crown of black hair framing his a slightly chubby face. His nose is up with a little beauty mark on it and his lips are shaped just beautifully. He looks pretty, and when Frank admits that to himself, it makes him feel itchy all over.

The waiting seems to be never ending and Frank’s starting to worry, though. What if something unexpected happened and Jamia would be back by nightfall? What then? Frank needs to get out of here before that and he needs this guy’s help to achieve it. He feels like a merciless monster when he steps closer to the sofa and inhaling, he shakes the stranger’s shoulder.

It takes two or three more shakes, but he manages to wake the guy up. He stares up at Frank as if he never saw him before until he comes to his senses. He pulls himself up to a sitting position and rubs his face with a groan slipping from his mouth.

“Uh, how long did I sleep?” he asks lazily in a muffled voice and stretches out his arms.

Frank looks at the clock although he knows exactly how long the guy’s been out. “About six hours,” he informs him. “I’m sorry I woke you, but you – you can’t stay here.”

The boy’s face seems to fall a little when he remembers that this is not his home and he has to leave. Whoever has been chasing him has drained this guy completely, Frank can tell.

“Right. So there’s not even a tiny chance that I could stay here?” he asks hopefully but then shakes his head just a second later. “Nah, that’s stupid. You don’t even know me. So, I guess I should go.” The guy sighs again and then gets up from the bed. “Thanks for letting me stay here for a bit, though.”

Frank nods, trying to talk himself into doing something. He can’t let the stranger go, for fuck sake! When he smiles a little, Frank finally reaches out and manages to take hold of the guy’s sleeve. “Wait,” he utters and the boy turns around, a confused look on his face. “I – can I come with you?”

And Jesus Christ, it sounds so dumb. Frank’s never heard something sound so stupid. He immediately lets go of the sleeve, its raw fabric almost scratching his soft, healing hands. He takes a step back and he has to fight the need to cry really hard. He’s already tearing up, the urge to break free exploding in him. Yes, it sounds dumb said out loud, but he needs to get away, and he can’t do it alone. He just can’t.

“What?” the stranger asks with a confusion that’s seriously competing with Frank’s.

“I need to come with you. Can I? You said – you said you owed me one. So I just want you to take me with you.”

“But I’m on the run. I can never stop and they’re after me to kill me, how could I take you with me when – “

“I don’t care,” Frank insists desperately. This needs to work out; he doesn’t know what he’ll do otherwise.

Maybe the boy standing in front of him, someone whom he’d just met, can see the sick plead in Frank’s eyes. Or maybe he can hear him begging in his head. For a second, he hesitates. They’re sort of just staring at each other and the stranger seems to be at a loss for words. Then he looks away for a moment and when he looks back, Fran knows he’s decided.

“Jesus, what am I getting myself into?” the stranger mumbles to himself and then nods his head. “Yeah, okay. You must be really desperate to trust me of all people with this, so it’s not like I can say no. Okay, let’s do this.”

“Really?” A ball of excitement forms in Frank’s chest and his face immediately lights up when he hears those words. To be honest, he didn’t quite believe that this would happen. Yes, he hoped it would, but it was too crazy to actually believe it. He’s ridiculously scared all of a sudden, but he’s not going to back off now. Not for the whole world. It’s enough to remember that what Jamia is doing to him is sick and he knows he’ll be able to leave.

“I might as well introduce myself, then,” the stranger comments and reaches out with his hand. “I’m Gerard.”

Frank stares down at Gerard’s hand before shrugging and accepting it, shaking it a few times. “I’m Frank.”

“Well, Frank, your hands are strangely soft and your sofa is really comfortable. But never mind that, when shall we go?”

~

“You seriously don’t have shoes?” Gerard asks, not capable of believing that. He looks Frank up and down and if they didn’t spend the past two hours digging around Frank’s room searching for shoes, he would probably insist on trying some more.

“Well, I never needed them!” Frank explains. It’s strange, but over the few hours they’ve spent together, his mouth has loosened up and he actually talks. He has no problem with opening up to Gerard and – well, Gerard definitely doesn’t look like someone who would want to use Frank for his own purpose. So far, Frank is even more convinced that Jamia is the one using him and he wants to get as far away from her as possible.

“You’re one lucky thing that it’s summer,” Gerard comments and sighs, scratching his head. Now that the exhaustion is gone and his face is clear, Frank must admit to himself that he actually looks really pretty.

“So, it’s possible without shoes?” Frank asks with a grin.

Gerard can climb down the tower on his own, with a technique Frank doesn’t quite understand and so he stops asking about it. His own idea with the sheets and tying them together proves to be good when he makes it happen. He’s got Spencer tied to his chest tightly so he wouldn’t fall down and as Frank’s slowly making his way down, he realizes how tall the tower is. It’s never occurred to him before – it was just a tower he lived in and that was all. It hits him how sick Jamia is for keeping him here.

“Just be careful,” Gerard warns him and pays another look to Frank’s bare feet. Frank simply nods, grinning like a loon as he feels the grass on his skin.

He really wants to be mature now that he’s eighteen, but the sun is too bright and the grass is too soft and everything is way too overwhelming. He ends up laughing hysterically and falling down to his knees, scratching Spencer behind his ears. “This is beautiful!” he acclaims happily, and yeah, he’s never been happier in his life. His heart just won’t stop beating fast and even Spencer’s joyful barking fills the air with excitement.

He realizes he’s acting like a fool when he looks up at Gerard and sees him grinning down at him. He clears his throat and still smiling, he gets up to his feet again.

“Right. Don’t worry, I’ll be careful,” he says and a blush covers his cheeks when Gerard giggles and starts walking towards the woods.

Of course, Frank’s bare feet become a problem. There’s this part of the woods where there’s more stones than grass and somehow, Gerard ends up grabbing Frank’s hand and leading him through there carefully.

They spend most of the time talking. At first, they’re not talking about anything serious, but as they get to know each other a bit better, they start discussing private stuff. It doesn’t even feel like they’re running from someone – it feels like they’re simply on a very long walk and that’s all. Frank’s reluctant to say anything about his power or about Jamia and her personality or what she’s done to him, but he has lots of fun listening to Gerard. It’s usually just stories about him and his brother and Frank likes that Gerard sounds so genuinely happy talking about them.

When they set up a fire later that night, at a place where they decide to stay, Frank doesn’t dare to ask why Gerard’s being chased. He feels that if Gerard wanted to tell him, then he would.

After talking the whole day, they don’t share many words now. They eat the little Frank took from the tower and they go to sleep. It’s much less comfortable than sleeping in bed, but when Frank rolls onto his back and looks up at the sky, his breath is taken away from him. The view is more beautiful than anything he’s ever seen in his whole life and he almost points out his finger to count the stars.

He’s too scared to call this little thing happiness, but there’s definitely something amazing growing inside of him. He wants to reach out and hold Gerard’s hand again, like he did when Gerard helped him walk through the stones. He takes a peak at Gerard’s sleeping figure and he smiles to himself. This morning, they didn’t even know each other. And right now, Frank is more than thankful for him.

Yeah, Gerard is definitely the best thing that’s happened to Frank. Not only did Gerard save him – he almost made Frank savor it and not regret it at all.

~

When the sun goes up the next day and wakes Frank up, he still feels good about everything. The fact that he’d left his home starts to slowly get to him, but he ignores it and gets up with a smile on his face.

Gerard is already up, but that’s not much of a surprise. Of course he is. He’s the one that’s being chased. Frank smiles at him and utters good morning, then takes sleepy Spencer from the ground and cuddles with him for a while. He can’t help but notice the stare Gerard’s giving him while he’s doing that, so he puts the little pug back on the ground and clears his throat.

“I think I’ll go for a little walk, if that’s okay with you,” he says with the blush still on his face.

He doesn’t expect to get away with it – they have a whole day of walking ahead of them – but Gerard just nods. “Yes, go right ahead. Just try and don’t get lost.” And it makes Frank shiver that Gerard cares.

He actually just needs some time to think. Deciding on leaving the tower was one thing, but now that he’s actually free, he doesn’t know what to do with it. He has a hard time deciding whether he’s truly free if there’s still Gerard taking care of him, but he comes to the conclusion that this was his own choice and therefore he can consider himself free.

Frank’s completely lost in his thoughts, but he still doesn’t wander too far away. That’s why he hears a loud thump coming from the place they’re staying at and Gerard’s curses that follow. “Ouch! Oh, Jesus! Shit! Oh, shit!”

Now, Frank doesn’t need any time to decide. He turns on his heels right away and with Spencer running by his side, he goes back as quickly as he can. His heart is beating furiously, almost as if he expected to see Gerard lying on the ground, dead. The view is still terrible, though, when he gets to him.

Gerard is sitting, not lying on the ground, and there are actual tears running down his face. That’s the first thing Frank notices. The second thing he notices is an awful, bad-looking wound on Gerard’s left calf. Frank can see it’s open and wow, he never wanted to see human flesh.

“What the hell happened?” Frank asks frantically and runs to Gerard, dropping down to his knees. His palms are already itchy all over as he observes the wound again, seeing that Gerard needs his help to even get up.

“I tripped and there was this random rock waiting for me, and just, Jesus Christ, it hurts so much. I think it almost cut me to the bone.” His voice is shaky and uncertain, like he’s still trying his best not to cry in front of Frank.

“I can see that,” Frank comments and he can feel fear building up in him as he brings his hands closer to the wound. “Gerard…” he trails off and looks up with hesitancy written all over his face, “Promise me you won’t freak out, okay? I can make it better, just, don’t freak out on me later.”

Gerard narrows his eyes and looks at Frank like he wanted to ask him if he’s gone mad. He nods, then, shrugging his shoulders, “Just don’t make it hurt even more,” he says in the same shaky voice and Frank purses his lips, taking a deep breath.

Okay, so the last time he did this was when Jamia broke her leg accidentally. But it’s not like he could ever forget how to heal.

Gerard hisses when Frank places his palm on the bloody wound, and Frank shivers when he feels the hot, thick liquor underneath his fingers. He closes his eyes and focuses on Gerard’s body. The moment he hears Gerard gasp, he knows his palms are glowing already and they’re just about to begin the process. It takes a lot of his energy, because the wound is huge and really deep. But after a few minutes, Frank finally feels it in his hands that the healing process is over and he opens his eyes. The light in his palms is just dying out.

He pulls away and rubs his hands against the denim of his pants. He checks the wound at first – the skin looks untouched. Then he dares to look up at Gerard. And, well…

“What the hell did you just do?” Gerard squeaks and rolls his pants down as if he wanted to forget that he injured himself in the first place. “What the hell was that? Did you just fricking heal me with your hands or am I hallucinating?”

Frank drops his gaze and stares at his fingers for a few seconds. “You remember how you said my hands were really soft?” he asks quietly and doesn’t dare to wait for an answer. “It’s because I have this in them. I can heal with them. I was born with this gift, I didn’t ask for it. I just… Do you know why I was in that tower?”

“I’m not so sure,” Gerard admits hesitantly.

Frank grins and looks up again. “It’s because I was a pet to this woman… Her name was Jamia. I healed her wrinkles, I brought her back her youth. And she didn’t want to let me go, so that’s why I was locked up. It took me years to figure out that she was using me, could you believe that?”

Gerard shuffles closer all of a sudden, as if his fear of Frank’s gift has vanished magically. “Did she really lock you up in there?”

“Yeah. But you helped me get out of there, so it’s all okay, I guess.”

Gerard sighs and reaches out, wrapping his fingers around Frank’s wrist. “Thank you for healing that. I just didn’t expect it. I’m sorry if I freaked out,” he apologizes and it surprises Frank to no end when Gerard actually pulls him closer and into a hug.

“Everyone would freak out,” Frank murmurs into Gerard’s shirt. He feels relieved now that he knows Gerard accepts him. He can’t even believe his luck, but it seems that he ran into someone who was just perfect.

Gerard eventually lets go of Frank and soon enough, they find themselves covered in awkward silence. The fear that Gerard will judge him gets to Frank again and it’s slightly bigger than last time.

Gerard actually isn’t going to judge Frank at all. He’s pretty much being eaten by his own conscience; he’s struggling and trying to resist the sudden urge to tell Frank everything. Especially after Frank trusted him with his own secret – with his own life. But that’s so not him¸ to share secrets and tell his back story. That’s not what he does, ever. Yet, the urge is there and it’s persistent.

Frank idly reaches out and catches the ripped fabric of Gerard’s pants between his fingers. “You should be more careful,” he mumbles, pretty much just to push the silence away. Not even paying attention or thinking much about it, he trails his fingers across Gerard’s healed skin. When he comes to his senses, he looks up and jerks his hand away, Gerard is staring at him.

“You should…” Gerard trails off and exhales, “You should know who I’m running from.”

Frank purses his lips to stop all the questions from rolling off of them, and he shakes his head. “No, that’s not necessary. I’m not… I never asked, don’t feel obliged to tell me.”

“It’s not because I feel obliged,” Gerard argues, although the truth is that that’s how it started in the first place; because he wanted to give Frank some trust back. But the more he thinks about it, he realizes he simply just wants to talk. It’s been months, years maybe, since the last time he actually spoke to someone about his life or about his problems. And Gerard misses it – the feeling that he’s got a friend he’s close with enough to tell him his secrets. And even though he met Frank just a few days ago, he feels like the right person.

Frank nods and shrugs his shoulders after that. “Well, I can just promise you I’ll keep it a secret.”

Gerard laughs at that, because, really. It’s not like Frank could tell a soul – there’s no one around and besides, the only person he knows is Jamia. And Gerard really hopes Frank won’t have to deal with her again.

“Okay, so,” Gerard inhales sharply and drops his gaze to the ground, pretty much freaking out. Roughly said, he’s just about to say he’s had sex with approximately twenty boys just because he wanted to, and he’s about to say it to the most innocent person in the world. So how exactly does one put this nicely?

“So?” Frank encourages him and shuffles closer, holding his head up with his hand, elbow leaning against his knee.

Gerard gives him this look that Frank can’t really decipher, but the raised eyebrow speaks for all. “I’m just going to say it, just don’t think I’m trying to harass you or corrupt your innocent mind, okay? The thing is, after my parents died and my brother Mikey and I were left alone, I was pretty reckless. I slept with random boys and I didn’t really care, you know? And I’m not saying two or three here, I’m saying twenty or more. And this one time, I really screwed it up by hooking up with the town’s richest man’s son. Yeah, big mistake. His father sent these hunters after me and he wants me dead. No one touches his precious son, you see? So I had to get the hell out of there. That’s how I ended up here.”

“Oh, well,” Frank blurts out and it sounds shocked, like he can’t actually believe his ears. “Sure you had a reason to behave like that?”

“A reason?” Gerard snorts and shakes his head, burying his fingers in the sand and drawing silly pictures in it. “Well, if being sad and shutting down and pushing away my own brother stands for a reason, I definitely had one.”

“Come on,” Frank argues and nudges Gerard in the shoulder. “Okay, so you screwed up. But who doesn’t screw up from time to time? If anything, you shouldn’t blame yourself like that.”

“Like you would know,” Gerard comments and regrets it right away. Frank doesn’t say anything to it, he doesn’t even look hurt – although it did sting inside. “I’m sorry. I just can’t forgive myself for leaving my brother there, and for leading a life like that. I don’t even know why I decided to tell you, I pretty much feel like a damn failure.”

It’s Frank who initiates the hug this time and he’s not even sorry for it. Gerard seems surprisingly small and fragile curled up in Frank’s arms, and whatever it is that lands on Frank’s shoulders, it’s heavy. It’s like he feels responsible for Gerard, even though that sounds crazy when he says it to himself in his head. That’s mad and impossible.

“You’re definitely not a failure,” he points out, thinking it doesn’t sound like bullshit – because he really means it. “I think you have a big heart and that you can fix everything eventually. You’ve helped me out so much, I don’t think you would have done that if you’d been a bad person.”

To hear Gerard’s muffled sob as he inhales is pretty much surreal. “Thanks,” he murmurs and then pulls away, rubbing his face with his hands quickly so Frank wouldn’t see the tears. He gives an unsure smile and gets up from the ground, stepping on his injured leg carefully (as if he still couldn’t believe it’s fine and healed). “Come on, we should get going.”

Frank nods and hops up, searching for Spencer and calling his name for a brief minute. (Turns out that damn pug found strawberries and was feeding on them like a damn herbivore.)

As they start walking, Frank repeats his actions from before and nudges Gerard in the shoulder again. “So, how about you tell me more about your brother?” he suggests.

It pretty much convinces Gerard that trusting Frank wasn’t a bad idea at all and it’s ridiculously easy to open his mouth again and talk about Mikey. He could talk about his brother for ages, to be honest. And he actually does feel close to Frank, however scary that might be.

~

When the day hops into afternoon, Frank crosses all his boundaries and he’s his talkative self. He used to be like this with Jamia, only a few months ago; and he thought he’d lost the ability to just have fun and be careless for a second. It’s amazing to find out that this part of him hasn’t gone anywhere, that it’s still there.

And it’s amazing, because he’s actually having fun talking to Gerard about random stuff. It’s amazing that he’s here. Everything is sort of amazing.

“Frank,” Gerard says suddenly and stops dead in his tracks all of a sudden, just as Frank’s singing some random melody. “Keep it quiet.”

“What,” Frank says and rolls his eyes, scratching the back of his neck. “Don’t be like that, you know you love my singing.”

“Shh!” Gerard hisses in response and Frank frowns, actually paying attention to their surroundings now. It’s not long until he can hear it, too – footsteps. He’d think he’s just crazy and making stuff up, but they both obviously hear it. Yeah, that’s definitely footsteps – and whoever it is, they’re not alone.

It’s not like it would take them lots of time to figure out what’s going on.

“They’ve closed in on us,” Gerard breathes out like he can’t believe it. Then he grabs Spencer from the ground and squeezes Frank’s shoulder. “Run! Run!”

Before Frank can realize what’s happening, the hunters appear a few feet away from them, from between the trees. A knot ties in his stomach and panic makes his breath hitch in his throat. He remembers he really should run, run for his life, and so he does. All he pays attention to is Gerard’s back and Spencer’s tail lurking from under Gerard’s arm. He’s not able to care about anything else at all.

But Gerard’s horrified. The gunshots make their way to his ears soon enough and he turns his head around and looks back. He sees a bullet, and it barely passes Frank’s ear. Gerard almost shrieks at that, stopping immediately. He waits until Frank is in front of him and only then he speeds up again, realizing he’s just decided to use his body as a shield so Frank will be okay.

The realization hits him and he forgets about the gunshots for a moment. Yes, he is just about ready to sacrifice himself just so Frank wouldn’t get hurt. He quickly tries and talks himself into believing that it’s simply because he knows none of this is Frank’s fault. Of course he wants to protect him because of that – he doesn’t want to feel guilty for getting someone killed, thank you very much.

Talking himself into this doesn’t work at all, though. The truth is that he just wants Frank to be safe. Yeah, he would probably be able to heal himself or something equally bizarre, but still. Just knowing that Frank could get hurt is enough. Gerard just can’t let that happen, because… well, because he cares for Frank (even when that’s bizarre as well). And it’s nothing like ‘caring’ for random guys he wanted to see in his bed. This is like caring for Mikey.

The next time Gerard looks back to check the situation, he sees one of the hunters shouting something (most likely something vengeful) and then the hunter trips over his own feet and actually falls down onto the ground.

It takes Gerard off guard, but he doesn’t dare to stop running. He probably speeds up even more and when he finally looks back once again, he’s welcome with scenery he would never expect. All of the hunters are on the ground; they obviously didn’t see the first one falling and they all tripped over him. There’s just one of them trying to stand up while another one is lying on his feet, but it’s hopeless. They’re just a nice ball of failed chase.

Gerard really can’t help it but laugh at them.

Spencer in his arms barks happily and Gerard taps Frank shoulder to tell him they can slow down a bit. They’re still jogging – or at least trying to – but their breathing is too shallow. They both know they’ll have to give up very soon and they can just hope they’ll be far enough from the hunters.

When they finally stop, they have only a very short break in which none of them says anything. Spencer is the only person – or, well… - that’s cheerful and capable of running, so he spends their break hopping around. It sort of encourages Frank and Gerard to throw all that panic away, and it works. Soon enough, Frank starts giggling and Gerard follows very closely.

“I can’t believe what just happened,” Gerard comments and actually bursts out laughing, knowing it’s just endorphins and stress making their way out of his system. By making him laugh like crazy, obviously.

Frank acts the same, though, to be honest. He actually has to bend over and catch his breath again. “That was incredible,” he chokes out after his laughing fit finally comes to an end. “I mean, the way they were just lying there! And how we ran, oh my God! I think my feet are bleeding,” he says in a raspy, laughed-out voice.

It turns out to be true, the bit with Frank’s bleeding. He actually has to sit down and Gerard turns around as he heals them, as if it was something intimate he didn’t want to interrupt with intense, eyes-open-wide watching.

“I’m sorry I put you in so much danger,” Gerard mumbles when they’re back on the road, walking like nothing has happened. He tucks a few lost locks of his hair behind his ear so he can look at Frank’s profile and see if Frank’s mad a lot, or just a little, or if he’s just disappointed and scared to death.

“I knew what I signed up for,” Frank acclaims and shakes his head. “It’s not your fault. I mean, it is. But… at least we’re having fun? It’s an adventure and I’ve never been on one before!”

“You cannot be real,” Gerard points out and laughs nervously, still unsure if Frank’s joking or not. But as he sees him hopping around with Spencer, laughing and obviously having the time of his life, his doubts slowly start to wash away. Maybe Frank just loves being free and a little bit of dangerous doesn’t scare him. Maybe Gerard should just let go as well.

~

Intermezzo

Jamia is completely satisfied and proud of herself when she manages to get back in two, and not three days. The little distance she created between her and Frank seems unimportant now – but everything seems unimportant after spending some time with a stranger in the nearest village. She’s still full of herself and can’t simply forget all the compliments she’d received. The man she slept with, whatever his name was, couldn’t believe how pretty she was. He kept repeating those words and she kept bathing in the beauty of them.

It just proves how much she needs Frank, though. She shakes her head again, thinking back to when she was younger. She was forty-five and still living in the village she was born in when a rumor started to spread around. It said that the farrier’s wife had given birth to her first son and that his hands were glowing from time to time. Eventually, they found out that he could heal with this power – his father had various bruises all over his hands from working all the time and when this little boy wrapped his chubby fingers around them, they healed. His father’s hands were like new. The boy’s name was Frank.

And Jamia wanted him.

She still can’t believe her luck, actually. She managed to steal him on her very first try. It was probably her wrinkles that made her act right away and be as sneaky as possible.

She did it during the night. She waited until the whole village was asleep, then she proceeded to sneak into the farrier’s house and grabbed the kid. Frank started screaming when she was by the door, but it was too late for his parents to do anything. She escaped, carrying the baby.

She ran away as far as she could with no food whatsoever. She found an old tower in the woods and decided to settle there. With time, as Frank grew older and more curious about the outside world, she got a key to the iron door to the highest rooms, and kept him locked inside. And she stills thinks it was her best decision.

She loves Frank, really. She’s almost sixty and looks like a girl anyway. All thanks to him. No, she would never let him go. What a stupid idea!

She’s just remembering their last conversation as he digs around her pockets and finds the key. The downstairs door is wooden and breakable, but she’s pretty sure Frank would never make it this far. She’s safe with a wooden door.

As she gets inside and makes her way up the stairs, she puts a smile on her face. Her intention is to make Frank feel comfortable around her again and greeting someone with a grin is better than with a frown. The door to Frank’s rooms creak when Jamia opens it.

She doesn’t really think much about the fact that the main room is empty. It does give her a bad feeling, but she’s still calm when she checks the bathroom. Yeah, that one is empty as well. Her steps are rushed when she leaves the bathroom door open and goes for the small balcony. The door to it is ajar, but there’s no one in there.

Her breath catches in her throat when she realizes he’s not there. “Frank?” she calls anyway in vain hope that he’ll answer. Of course, there’s nothing. Not even a sound. And the puppy’s gone as well. What the hell?

She does quick math in her mind. She’s been gone for two days and she doubts Frank would run off the very first night. Maybe not even the first day, but she has to count every possibility. So he’s two days ahead of her. Or maybe he’s lost somewhere in the woods – but most likely, he’s just ended up in the nearest village. “Dammit, move, girl!” she says to herself and rubs her palms against her face before she runs for the stairs again. She needs to get him back. She has to.

She runs out of the tower and off to the woods. Her frantic thoughts are about to explode and for the first time in years, she actually feels like screaming for help.

The want to scream even grows as she wanders through the woods and the night starts to fall on her shoulders. And Frank’s nowhere to be seen. Jamia desperately sits down on the ground, never minding the dirt that will cling onto her clothes. She buries her face in her hands and takes a few deep breaths so as not to cry. She’s this close to crying, though. She gives up eventually and starts sniffing – the more wrinkles she feels under her fingertips the more hopeless she is.

She’s taken aback when she hears voices, though. Her sobs come to an end abruptly and she quickly gets up, hiding behind the nearest bush she spots. A small part of her hopes that it would be Frank there, but six or seven men appear and stop at the place where she’d been sitting just seconds ago.

One of them scratches his beard. “Since when is he bringing a kid along?” he asks the group and confusion resonates through his voice.

“I don’t know, Bert,” the other one of them responds. “Is it even a kid? I don’t know. I just noticed that his feet were bare, that’s all. This is different, we were supposed to kill just Way, what do we do now?”

Jamia blinks at this comment and straightens up behind the bush. Whoever they’re chasing, their companion definitely sounds like Frank. Who else could possibly be considered a kid and be barefoot? Who else could it be, really? The nearest village is full of sailors and businessmen and their wives, but as far as Jamia knows, none of them would let their kids run without shoes. This just has to be Frank.

She wipes away the tears and just as one of the hunters says, “How about we kill the other one as well?” she steps from behind the bush.

“Excuse me, gentlemen,” she speaks up to catch their attention. “The kid you’re talking about is my son. He ran away and I’d love to get him back. I’ll pay you if you don’t kill him.” Which is, obviously, bullshit. She basically just wants to come along – and he’d love to kill every single one of them for even considering killing someone like Frank.

“Oh, really?” the one Jamia remembers was addressed as Bert responds. “We could consider that, right, boys?”

“So, would you mind if I joined you?” she suggests with that snaky smile of hers on her face. They don’t really need to answer. There’s just one guy that utters, “Saporta would kill us if he knew about this,” but the rest seem to be blinded by the image of getting more money than promised.

“We’d be flattered to have a lady on our team,” Bert responds with a smile almost as snaky as hers. Good. Now they have a deal and Jamia is totally getting Frank back.

~

When the panic falls off of Frank’s shoulders, he giggles to himself. They’re pretty sure they’ve lost the hunters by now, so they stop walking in the middle of nowhere. He just can’t believe how lucky they are – if one of the hunters didn’t trip over some branch that was sticking up from the ground and didn’t stop everyone else behind him as well, they would probably be dead by now.

Gerard doesn’t say a thing about that, though, and Frank has no interest in bringing it up. They’re alive and that’s the point.

In the evening, though, when they find a nice place near the river, Frank can’t help his excitement. Before he can say anything, Gerard just smiles at him and leaves, saying he’s going to get them some food. At least there’s Spencer to keep him company.

They finally get to talk when it’s completely dark outside and they’re eating fish Gerard managed to catch. It’s raw and definitely not the best thing Frank’s ever put in his mouth, but at least they roasted it on the fire.

“So, today was cool,” Frank states and swallows one last bit of his portion. They’re sitting on the ground, but the weather is nice enough to get away with it.

“Which part about almost getting ourselves killed do you have in mind?” Gerard asks sarcastically and snorts. He shakes his head and hands a small bit of the fish to Spencer who’s been bugging him the whole time. Of course, he refuses to even get closer to the food and nestles by Frank’s side instead.

“I didn’t mean that,” Frank rolls his eyes and nudges Gerard in the shoulder. “I meant the rest. Yeah, they almost got us, but that’s not what I keep thinking about. I keep going back to the moment when I realized we got away and I just. I’ve never felt so alive in my entire life,” he admits and looks to the fire with a sheepish smile on his face.

He feels Gerard’s fingers on his just seconds later and he dares to look up. Gerard’s expression has changed and it looks gentle now, like he doesn’t want to hurt Frank with his words or with anything else. “You look really beautiful like this,” he says quietly and bites down on his lip as if he didn’t want to say it out loud originally and it just slipped out of his mouth.

“What do you mean?” Frank asks, holding his breath. Gerard is way too close to him to stay calm, and the soft connection they’re sharing where Gerard’s touching Frank is sliding into his sub-consciousness like a blade.

“Your eyes are smiling at me,” Gerard explains and grins. “And I really like that.”

For a second there, Frank is pretty sure they’re going to kiss. And it takes him another second to realize that he’s not scared; that he actually wants it. His eyes wander down Gerard’s soft, smiling face to his lips and linger there for longer than necessary. If he wasn’t just a small, inexperienced, shy little boy, he would lean closer and initiate the kiss. He knows he would. But like this, with knees still wobbly just from thinking about the fact he’d ran away from Jamia, all he can do is want. He wants to taste Gerard’s lips, find out if they’re chapped or soft, and he wants it right now.

Nothing happens in the next few moments, though. Frank blushes when he realizes he’s still staring at Gerard’s lips and he looks up quickly, making eye contact that doesn’t make it any easier, anyway.

He’s just about to open his mouth and say something, maybe ask what’s going on and why the hell they’re still not pressed against each other, when Gerard’s expression changes once again.

The softness seems to be temporarily gone, as if there was an error and he can’t fix it right now. The confusion takes up a great deal of his face as well. He pulls away and the connection is broken – he’s no longer touching Frank. It feels like his fingers have burnt holes into Frank’s skin, though.

“I should get more firewood so the fire doesn’t die out when we’re asleep,” he murmurs distractedly and gets up to his feet within two seconds. Frank’s left sitting by the fire like a lost puppy – really, he looks just like Spencer.

When Gerard disappears into the woods, Frank idly rubs the spot where they’ve been touching and sighs. Okay, so there’s definitely something going on between them. And, of course, Frank’s not sure what it is. He just knows that the urge to kiss the heck out of Gerard was really strong. And although it weirds him out, it’s not like he can do anything about it.

Maybe he gets like this because he would still be trapped in the tower if it wasn’t for Gerard. He basically sees him as a savior, so maybe that’s why he developed such a stupid, romantic crush on him and now he can’t –

“Well, well, well. I thought he’d never leave!”

Frank’s mind shuts down and every thought breaks when he hears that voice. He’s frozen in his place, motionless. For a moment, he doesn’t even dare to turn around. It’s just your imagination! He tells himself repeatedly, but he never quite manages to believe it. He ends up turning around anyway and it hits him ever more when he sees her. Yes, that’s definitely Jamia, and she’s wearing her black cloak again. And she looks snakier than he’s ever seen her before.

“What are you doing here? How have you found me?” he asks in a high-pitched voice and as he flies up to his feet, he immediately backs off. Just stay away from her, a quiet voice in his mind tells him calmly. Yeah, that’s exactly what he wants to do. To stay away from her.

She shrugs her shoulders and as if she didn’t notice how scared Frank is, she steps closer. “I simply wandered through the woods until I found you. Frankie,” she says in a soft voice, though her features remain harsh. “Come back with me. I followed you all day and I almost died when I saw what happened with the hunters!”

Frank curls his fingers into fists and glares at her, almost blurting out that if he died back there, she wouldn’t have anyone to take care of her old, wrinkled face. “No,” he says instead in a stern voice, although his whole body is shaking. Nausea rolls over him and his heart is just about to explode. “I’ve… I’ve found someone.”

“Yes, a hunted man! Hunted like an animal! I can’t even tell you how proud I am!” she exclaims sarcastically. “I mean this, Frank. Come back with me and everything will be okay again.” She reaches out with her pale hand and gestures for him to come closer.

Frank takes another step back and shakes his head. “Gerard is not like the people you’ve always told me tales about. He doesn’t want to use me. I like him and I… I think he might like me back. I want to stay with him. I don’t want to be with you anymore, Jamia.” He doesn’t even know how, but the words fall out of him like a waterfall. He can’t believe he spilled his guts to her – he could have just said no again.

“That’s what it looks like now,” she snarls and keeps her arm stretched towards him. “He will use you eventually. I’m saying this the last time – come with me or awful things will take place.”

“What?” he squeaks and his eyes widen. “Are you threatening me?”

“I’m just saying that I can easily go find the hunters and send them after you both. But I don’t want to do that. So please, come with me.”

“Jamia, don’t do this,” he begs desperately and almost makes the horrible mistake of running towards her in a vain attempt to make an impression. “Please, please don’t do that.”

“Well, then,” she says and as Frank follows her gaze, he knows she’s staring at her own arm. Yes, she’s definitely asking him to come back home again. And again, despite everything she’d said, he can’t nod and take her hand. He just can’t. He knows what it’s like to feel alive now. He knows what it’s like to walk the ground, what it’s like to feel sand between his fingers. He can’t simply just leave this all behind. And most of all, he can’t leave Gerard behind. Gerard with a bittersweet look in his eyes who always acts so confident, but is more sensitive than Frank and Jamia altogether. Frank can’t and he doesn’t even want to.

“No,” he says once again and hugs himself awkwardly trying to protect himself – from her and from other words that want to make their way out of his mouth.

She looks confused for a few seconds, like she really expected him to give up his own freedom and join her again, and then she lets her arm fall by her side. “As you wish. I hope you will be safe, then. But don’t expect me to just walk away – I’ll get you back somehow.”

She’s like a shadow, because before Frank can manage to say anything to her, or beg for forgiveness, she’s gone in the dark. He feels like running after her one second, and then like curling up and dying the next. He has no idea what he’s just gotten himself into. Himself and Gerard; it’s not just him anymore, they’re in this together.

He eventually sits back down on the ground and rubs his face, feeling exhausted all over. Not regretting his escape seems much harder now, but when he recalls all his days in the tower where he quietly hoped for something to kill him – where he quietly contemplated ending it all himself – he’s sure he doesn’t regret it.

It occurs to him again that Jamia, although she seems nice and loving, is most likely the most horrible person Frank’s ever spoken to and although she’s taken care of him for years, she’s just a vengeful witch.

“What’s going on?” Gerard asks with concern reflecting on his face when he comes back to the fire with arms full of wood.

Frank just shakes his head, not even knowing when he decided to keep the whole conversation with Jamia a secret. “Nothing. I’m just really tired,” he lies in a low voice, hoping Gerard wouldn’t recognize it.

He obviously doesn’t – he smiles at Frank almost shyly and tells him to lie down, that he’ll stay up for a few more moments. Frank obeys, finding at least a somewhat comfortable place on the ground and turning his back to the fire and to Gerard. Nervousness and doubts and his own consciousness prevent him from falling asleep for a long time, but he manages to drift off to sleep at last.

~

Frank feels tired the next day. It’s not really just that, though; he keeps coming back to his last conversation with Jamia and it makes him shiver every single time. She sounded so vicious! And her voice is still echoing through Frank’s mind, no matter how hard he tries to think about something else. Like for example the kiss they almost shared last night.

He manages to focus on that for a few minutes but he ends up realizing that that’s a bit unsettling as well. He doesn’t understand his own feelings and it confuses him. He just knows that he did want Gerard to kiss him and he’s a little disappointed it didn’t work out that way.

Frank is aware of the amount of boys Gerard’s been with, but still. What is so wrong about a simple kiss? He’s pretty sure it would do no harm to either of them.

He’s completely occupied with thinking about all of this for most of the day. They have a little snack at lunch, eating what’s left of the fish from the day before, but then they’re moving again. With time, Frank can’t really focus on anything but the fact of how much his legs hurt. It’s not just his feet – although they’re hurting pretty bad from being bare all the time – but also the muscles in his calves and thighs. He just wants to sit the hell down. But bowing his head is as close to sitting down as he can get right now.

He’s just sighing sadly when Gerard nudges him in the shoulder. “Hey, look at that,” he says enthusiastically and Frank looks up lazily. He expects to see some bird or something similar, since that’s what Gerard always shows him, but there’s an actual cottage right in front of him.

“What? An actual house?” he says like he can’t believe it and stares at the dark wood the house is made of. It looks old and covered in moss near the ground. Every window is closed and the paint from the frames is chipping off. All in all, it looks empty. Just like Frank’s tower did, that’s why he stops dead in his tracks. “What if there’s someone in there?”

“Well, we shall find out, then,” Gerard shrugs his shoulders and approaches the door cautiously. He knocks a few times and when there’s no answer, he tries to shout at the potential owner of the house. The outcome is the same, though – it’s still quiet around them, the only sound being birds in the sky and Spencer barking furiously, alarmed by Gerard’s strong voice.

“It’s empty, Frank,” Gerard states in the end and goes for the doorknob. It gives in easily and he opens the door, lurking inside. “Yeah, lots of spider webs and dust. Come on, let’s take a look.”

Frank really, really doesn’t like the sound of that, especially since Gerard mentioned spiders, but he follows him inside anyway. It calms him down a bit when they make sure that the house is really empty. They decide to stay here for the night; they’d stop any minute now and like this, they’ll at least have a roof to sleep under. Which will definitely be a good change after those nights of sleeping under the night sky.

The goal is to dig around the cottage a bit and find anything useful. Frank doesn’t really hope to find food, but Gerard brings him a few cans of tuna. That’s a very pleasant surprise. Something must have made the person that lived here leave very abruptly, because there’s a pile of wood near the fireplace and dishes on the table. It makes Frank wonder what happened.

“Look what I found!” Gerard shouts from some other room and Frank can hear him running a few seconds later. When he appears in the doorway, he’s carrying shoes. Since he’s gripping the shoelaces, they’re rocking from side to side as he walks. “Am I amazing or… am I amazing?” Gerard asks with a smile and it turns out to be a serious issue for Frank not to run to him and hug him.

“I think I’ll go with amazing,” Frank responds and Gerard giggles. He closes the gap between them and hands Frank the shoes.

Frank takes them, feeling itchy all over under Gerard’s intense stare. The same shivers he felt last night come back to him and he seriously expects Gerard to lean closer and at least look at him from just a few inches away, if not kiss him. His disappointment is definitely bigger than last time when Gerard purses his lips and takes a step back, looking away. “Right. I’ll go and try to find some matches.”

He disappears from the kitchen before Frank can say anything. He stands there for a few more seconds before he sighs and sits down on one of the chairs to put the shoes on. That definitely feels good. He takes the cans with food and inhaling deeply, he goes to find the fireplace again. This will be a long evening, considering he can’t even take his eyes off of Gerard.

~

Sitting in front of the fireplace is nice. It almost feels like home. Yes, Frank can still feel the butterflies in his stomach when he looks over at Gerard’s profile – but even that feels kind of right at the moment. He’s full, since the food was good, and they found something to drink in one of the rooms. A relaxed feeling washes all over him and he voluntarily takes it all in.

“I think I’ll go to bed,” Gerard states when it’s nearing midnight. Frank holds his breath when Gerard gets up and heads for the stairs – they decided to sleep upstairs since there were two empty rooms. Although, right now, Frank hates that they’re going to sleep so far away from each other. He’s gotten completely used to Gerard’s presence and it simply feels wrong not to have him around.

He squeezes the armrest and decides what to do. Frank knows he has to decide quickly, because Gerard is almost out of the room. He stares after him and swallows. He should go for this.

He doesn’t know what it means, he doesn’t know what to do, but he’s not stupid. He’s read books with romantic tales in them, and yeah, okay, maybe that was always just a girl falling in love with a boy, but… Frank blinks a few times. To hell with it. He succeeded in escaping Jamia’s grip – no, don’t think about her now, no! – so he might as well try this out.

“Don’t go,” Frank peeps up in the end and Gerard immediately turns around, his face dazzled by the fire. “Don’t go.”

“You don’t actually want me to stay, Frank,” Gerard argues back, but it’s obvious that he’s this close to coming back. It’s comforting to know that they’re both thinking about the same thing and it gives Frank enough confidence to be a bit more careless.

Huh, he would never say he’s the adventurous and spontaneous type. Well; buy a pet, keep him inside and then let him go. And he will go mad. Just like Frank is going mad right now – the only thing he can think about are Gerard’s lips and how close they were to his last night. And that thought makes him certain that yes, he does want Gerard to stay.

He gets up from the chair to be on the same level with Gerard. “What if I said I wanted you to stay?” he asks and although he’s sure inside, his voice is shaky. “You’ve slept with many others, you said so yourself. What if I wanted to be one of them?”

Gerard’s expression changes suddenly and he frowns. “You could never be one of them,” he answers in a voice that is nowhere near shaky.

Frank wants to ask what it means; if it means that Gerard cares or if it means that he doesn’t care enough. Instead, he subconsciously goes for the first option and takes a few steps to get close to him. “What’s the problem, then?”

“Frankie,” Gerard says almost as if he was begging. “I don’t want to hurt you. What if I – “

“I stopped caring about what ifs the moment I got out of that tower,” Frank cuts him off almost angrily. “I’m not going to deny myself anything. After eighteen years of pacing from one wall to another, I want to feel and I want to feel good. And it feels good when you’re near me, so I’m not going to say no to that. Frankly, I don’t care about anything else.”

Gerard looks like he’s not going to give up just yet at first, but then he reluctantly closes the gap between them and reaches out with his hand, cupping Frank’s cheek. “You look beautiful when the fire lights up your face like this,” he says quietly and runs his thumb over Frank’s bottom lip.

“You said something similar last night and then you went to find firewood,” Frank points out dryly and when Gerard touches his lips again, he pokes out his tongue and presses it against Gerard’s fingers.

Gerard breathes out and presses his body even closer, burying his forefinger in Frank’s hot mouth. “Where the hell did you learn this?” he asks and his voice is not so certain anymore. Frank just looks up at him and grins, running his tongue all over Gerard’s skin and wrapping his lips around his finger. He hollows his cheeks for a second, inhaling sharply, before he lets go.

When Gerard pulls his hand away and rests it on Frank’s chest, they finally meet in a kiss.

Frank closes his eyes right away. He doesn’t know what brings him to it, but he wants to feel this and it seems inappropriate to do so with his eyes open. And so he flutters his eyelashes and then it’s all dark around him, just Gerard’s wet lips pressing against his and melting into them. It feels like nothing he’s imagined.

He feels a sick need at the very tips of his fingers and he grabs the first thing he finds in his blindness. He squeezes Gerard’s shirt and bounces on his heels, standing up on them in hope he’ll get closer to that mouth, to that feeling, to that sensation. When Gerard tries to pull away after a moment, Frank chases his lips hungrily, uttering, “More.”

He’s not even aware of the fact that they’re still standing in the middle of the room. He’s fully focused on kissing Gerard, like fighting his lips onto his is his life goal. He gives a silent squeak when he feels Gerard’s tongue run over his lower lip hesitantly, and it takes him a second to realize what he’s supposed to do. But then he’s opening his mouth and nausea mixed with intense pleasure rolls over him. It feels way too intimate and Frank’s not used to it.

He ends up breaking the kiss in the end, breathless. He opens his eyes after what feels like years and fists Gerard’s shirt even more. “That was…” he trails off, unable to find a word to describe what he feels.

Gerard smiles at him. “What? Was it good?”

Frank’s eyes involuntarily fall down and lay upon Gerard’s shiny lips. The realization that there’s Frank’s saliva on them runs all the way through his body and ends right in his crotch and settles there.

“Yes,” Frank breathes out and nods frantically. He fights the urge to touch his hardening member although it almost audibly screams for it, and licks his lips. “More,” he says again and Gerard grins down at him.

“That I can do,” he replies and Frank can see that he’s finally gotten rid of his doubts and hesitation. He goes for Frank’s mouth quickly and it doesn’t take him long to invade it with his tongue this time. “Upstairs,” he murmurs into the skin of Frank’s neck after a while when Frank’s body jerks and grinds against Gerard’s.

Frank lets Gerard lead the way. He can’t even think straight at the moment – he can hear his heart thumping in his ears and his lips are vibrating from kissing so much. He’s trembling, though he’s not really aware of it. He’s afraid his knees will give out as they’re walking up the stairs. It feels like they’re made out of gelatin and not bones and meat, but Gerard’s holding him and that’s good, because suddenly, Gerard is all that matters.

The fear awakens in Frank as soon as they fall onto the old bed, naked. “You know I’ve never done this,” he whispers, but gathers up the courage in him and climbs on top of Gerard, placing shy kisses on Gerard’s chest. He can’t stop himself from trembling, though – he’s too busy focusing on Gerard’s body and his own feelings to concentrate on not shaking.

Gerard’s breath catches in his throat when Frank kisses one of his nipples softly. “Yeah, I figured,” he responds in a whisper and tangles his fingers in Frank’s hair. “We can do it like this if you want. You can stay here, and I’ll…” he trails off, but it’s not like he’d have to finish for Frank to understand.

Frank’s breath quickens when he realizes what Gerard is suggesting. But no, he’s not going to say no. If anything, Frank feared the pain that could come and although he fears failing Gerard’s hopes now, it’s still more bearable.

It’s all just limbs and lips and mouths and moans after that. There’s too much to feel and Frank feels like crying out hopelessly, because he just doesn’t seem to manage to notice everything. But he wants to, God, he wants to! And he knows this is not the last time they’re doing this – or at least he hopes it isn’t. He keeps thanking Gerard quietly for doing this, and Gerard keeps repeating that it feels amazing. They’re clinging onto each other and for a moment, Frank completely falls into believing that it’s something more. Not just sex, but something better.

When Frank comes, which takes him an embarrassingly short amount of time, Gerard moans and keeps rocking his hips against Frank’s. Frank, collapsed on Gerard’s chest and breathing heavily, can feel Gerard’s hand somewhere under his stomach as he touches himself.

Frank pulls out after Gerard bites down on his shoulder and comes all over their stomachs, and rolls off of Gerard’s body. He doesn’t like the cold air hitting his hot, sweaty skin, and so he curls up next to Gerard. Their bodies stick together, but neither of them minds.

Frank bites down on his lip and talking himself into it, he leans closer and kisses the spot under Gerard’s earlobe softly. “Am I another one of your boys now?” he asks quietly. He prays to hear an answer that would say something else, but he knows he can’t help it – at least he has something now. He never even imagined he would be on his own, with someone he likes – with someone he feels something for – and so this should be enough. He can’t be possessive, although he’d like to.

Gerard shakes his head and a few locks of his dark hair tickle Frank’s face. “No, you’re not,” he says almost sadly, as if he couldn’t believe it. “You’re different. Because I trust you, and I don’t want to let that go.”

Frank’s not so sure about what this means for him, but it’s as close to the answer he’d wanted to hear as he could get. The bit about trust hurts and stings, though, because it makes him remember last night and Jamia.

“I need to tell you something,” Frank blurts out without thinking much about it. He doesn’t know where it’s coming from, but he wants to fix this and he wants to tell Gerard the truth. It’s like he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without it, because now, when they’re together like this, it just doesn’t feel right to keep things away from Gerard. Wait, no, it never felt right – but now, Frank knows he can say it. The idea makes his heart speed up again, but he’s got to say this.

“Save it for the morning,” Gerard murmurs lazily and places a small kiss to Frank’s temple.

And yeah, Frank’s tempted to obey, but what if it will be too late in the morning? What if he’ll be all shut down again, what if he won’t have the guts to say it? That’s why he focuses on Gerard’s skin as if he was talking to it.

“Last night, when you went to find some firewood… I was alone by the fire. And I heard noises and when I turned around to see what was there… I saw Jamia.” Gerard makes a surprised noise at the back of his throat, but doesn’t say anything yet. “And she told me that if I don’t go back with her, she’ll get revenge. She… she mentioned the hunters and that they were after us.”

Gerard’s silent after that, and Frank can hear his heart beating again – but it’s not pleasant anymore. At last, Gerard pulls Frank closer and tucks his head under his chin. “Sleep. It will be okay in the morning. We’ll run away from them.”

With the weight off of Frank’s shoulders, it’s ridiculously easy to trust Gerard’s words and fall asleep within five minutes, never minding that uneasy, heavy feeling sitting on his chest.

~

Truth be told, Frank doesn’t wake up like he’d hoped he would. He’d secretly hoped he would wake up to Gerard kissing him or something equally sappy, but – well. Frank wakes up to strange noises he can’t distinguish.

It’s not a pleasant way to wake up, he knows that much. It occurs to him that it could be someone dangerous as well as it could be just the original owner of the house. Of course, the first option seems somewhat likely and he turns on the bed, shaking Gerard’s shoulder. It’s almost impossible to wake Gerard up, but Frank succeeds in the end and Gerard mumbles something incoherently.

“What is it?” he asks lazily after a few seconds and licks his chapped lips. When he opens his eyes – oh, how Frank wishes this would be just a casual morning and he could just marvel at Gerard’s sleepy face – the sleep is still present in them.

“I think someone’s down there,” Frank says and even though he tries his best, the panic still resonates in his voice.

Gerard narrows his eyes as if he thought that Frank was just making fun of him, but the noise is back again. This time, it’s not so hard to tell what it is – it’s the sound of a group of people chit-chatting about something and laughing occasionally. And then there’s this, “Look, a cottage! You guys think they’re inside?”

“We should take a look,” a woman’s voice says and Frank’s eyes open wide right at that second. He climbs off the bed and rushes to the window, and opening it, he takes a quick peak.

“It’s the hunters,” he says and then takes a shaky inhale. “And she’s with them. Jamia is with them.”

“What?” Gerard is suddenly standing by Frank’s side and looking down to the small garden. The hunters with Jamia in the lead are just approaching the door and she’s reaching out for the doorknob. “There wasn’t a key, right? The door’s not locked.”

“What are we going to do now?” Frank asks in such a tiny voice that it almost breaks Gerard’s heart in half. Frank himself is slowly starting to shake and he’s this close to actually tearing up. “We’ve nowhere to run. We’re trapped here, oh my God, Gerard…”

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Gerard hushes him and turns around to face Frank, cupping his cheeks in his hands. He can swear to God that if Frank wasn’t freaking out and he wouldn’t have to take care of him, he would lose his shit as well. “They’re here for me. We’re upstairs and we can’t run away from here, but…” He sighs and looks around the room.

“But what?” Frank cries out and the thought of losing Gerard, along with the thought of losing his freedom that’s still so fresh and new to him, is making his stomach twist.

“Listen, it’s not good she’s with them, but at least we’re pretty sure she’ll try to protect you. So I’ll try and distract them, okay? And you need to run.”

Frank gasps when he realizes what Gerard is saying. “Are you saying that I should run and leave you behind?”

“Frankie,” Gerard whines as if he was begging him to not make it even more difficult. “If you stay here, she’ll take you back. Because the moment they’re in this room, they’ll try to kill me. And that’s your only chance to get away, so just, please. Run away for me, okay? Can you do that?”

Frank is tearing up for real right now. The pleading expression on Gerard’s face is killing him, and so he nods. Gerard seems to be relieved with that, but Frank knows something Gerard doesn’t – that the nod was absolutely fake. Frank would never be able to run away and leave Gerard behind. Whether he wants to admit it or not, it wasn’t just physical attraction pulling him to Gerard. He didn’t simply want to be one of Gerard’s boys – he wanted to be more and that definitely wouldn’t work out with the whole running away thing. But Gerard doesn’t need to know that, if it makes him feel better to know Frank will try to escape.

“Okay,” Gerard says and pecking Frank on the lips quickly, he pulls away. “Let’s get dressed, then. I’d rather not die naked.”

Frank really wishes he could giggle at that.

They manage to put their clothes on just in time. Gerard’s scenario seems to be pretty accurate – the moment the hunters enter the bedroom and realize who they are facing, their guns go up in the air and every single one of them is aiming at Gerard. Franks has never felt this sick in his entire life.

They’re a bit reluctant to start with the shooting, though. “Is that your boy, ma’am?” one of the hunters with longish dark hair asks.

That’s when Jamia makes an appearance and enters the room. And Frank actually can’t believe his eyes. He cannot believe she would actually do this. He always thought she was a kind enough person, never mind the entire using-Frank thing. Apart from that, he considered her nice. He thought that her threats were nothing, just talking and trying to get Frank back. But she’s here now, in this room, and she’s so obviously with the hunters that it feels like a punch to the face.

“Yes, that’s him,” she says and she manages to fake a relieved smile. But Frank can see it – he can see the snake in her eyes. It used to vanish, but it’s constantly there now. “Come here, Frankie,” she adds in a stern voice.

Frank takes a deep breath to say something, but he knows it would be just another ‘no’. And she wouldn’t like that. Silence is better than rejection, or so Frank thinks.

There’s one thing Frank really wants to do; he wants to reach out and grab Gerard’s hand, just to be sure that he’s still there and not going anywhere. Frank can’t even comprehend everything that’s happening – the fear of losing everything leaves him breathless. It hurts him that he actually can’t touch Gerard right now – that’s not a part of the plan. No, they can’t touch, what if something goes wrong and they won’t be able to do anything, because the connection would keep them in place?

“Frank, come here,” Jamia insists again and although the hunters are obviously waiting for a sign from her that they can shoot, they’re growing impatient.

Frank closes his eyes and turning to the side just a bit, he mumbles, “Do it now. The distraction. Now.”

Gerard actually risks it and goes for Frank’s hand, squeezing it for just a brief second. Everything that follows leaves Frank in awe – and no, he’s not really capable of running, just backing off to the corner and hiding there. He watches it all and he just prays everyone will be fine.

Gerard runs and reaching out with his fist, he hits the dark haired hunter in the face. The hunter doesn’t expect it – he loses his balance, drops the gun and falls down to his knees. Gerard is quick enough to pick up the gun and aim it at another hunter. It’s a shock for Frank when Gerard actually shoots and hits the man in the shoulder. Well, that would be two hunters down, four left. Plus, Jamia. Frank’s hopes are getting up again when one of the still walking hunters sneaks from behind and wraps his arm around Gerard’s neck.

Gerard can’t help but drop the gun as well. This all happens so quickly that only now Jamia searches for Frank with her eyes and when she sees him, she starts to make her way towards him. But he’s too caught up watching what’s going on with Gerard.

He manages to fight off the hunter and turns around, smacking him in the Adam’s apple with his fist. The noise the hunter makes is horrible and Frank is actually this close to covering up his ears to cut the noise off.

Gerard manages to kick one of the three hunters in the side and that sends the poor Saporta’s man falling to the side. Something unexpected happens – the injured hunter runs into Jamia, who’s reaching Frank, and she loses her balance just like the first hunter did. Frank actually can’t tear his eyes off of it – it’s surreal to see her stumble over her own feet and fly towards the window. Frank realizes what’s about to happen when it’s too late – yes, he reaches out with his hand, but Jamia hits the window frame with one shoulder and the way she falls out the window is something Frank would never, ever want to see again.

A choked noise escapes his mouth – it’s something between a scream and incoherent babbling. He wants to run for the window and make sure that Jamia is okay – because for whatever reason he still cares about her – when another gunshot penetrates his ears and mind and he’s stuck in place. He turns around, regretting doing so right away.

Of course Gerard’s the one that’s been shot. Of course.

Infinite panic spreads through Frank’s small body as he watches one of the hunters let go of Gerard’s limp body, and the other one stuffs his gun back into his pocket. And so it’s done.

“Come on! We’re out of here!” the one that’s been shooting calls and he’s out the door before Frank can even blink. The four other hunters follow him closely, just the one that’s gotten shot lays still on the floor. Frank think he might as well be dead – just like Gerard will be at any second. The red blood soaking through his white shirt indicates that the wound is somewhere near his heart.

Crazily enough, Frank stops his movements for a second, standing somewhere between the window and Gerard’s body. And he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know if he should run and save Jamia, or if he should run and heal Gerard. He knows he shouldn’t even consider saving that woman, but it’s easy to think that and quite hard to actually abandon her. Everything, the whole disaster she’s caused, vanishes. She’s taken care of him, Jesus Christ, she was like his mother in so many ways!

But then, once again, however strong Frank’s connection with Jamia was, it got broken. Jamia broke it by using Frank all the time and Frank broke it by finally running away. Running away with Gerard.

So why the hell is he still just standing here? He knows whom he wants to save – it’s Gerard. They met so randomly; isn’t that what says that they’re basically meant to be? As he turns to face Gerard’s soft figure on the floor, there’s no place for hesitation in his head anymore. However silly that is, or however ridiculous that is, Frank knows he needs to save him. His heart painfully squeezes in his chest as he turns away from the window completely and runs for Gerard, falling down onto his knees.

It’s alarming that he’s already unconscious. Frank reaches out and places his shaky fingers on Gerard’s neck in a vain attempt to find his pulse. It’s almost non-existent and Frank panics even more.

He rips Gerard’s shirt apart to get to the wound as soon as possible. It looks awful, way worse than the one he had to heal before. Frank almost dies when he realizes he will have to take out the bullet first and he almost laughs sarcastically when he remembers Gerard’s, “Just don’t make it hurt even more.”

“This is so going to hurt,” he mumbles frantically. It doesn’t really help that his fingers are shaking so bad. Jesus Christ, this is just… “I so don’t want to do this,” he cries, but he purses his lips and takes a deep breath. Okay, he can totally do this. He needs to do this if he really wants to save Gerard’s ass. If he didn’t have to actually look for the bullet, he would probably just close his eyes, but it’s much more complicated like this.

It takes him too long for his liking to find that damn bullet and it also takes a lot of his willpower so he wouldn’t throw up. He’d probably throw up, anyways, if there wasn’t so much blood. The blood is making him sick, but in a different way – it worries him, because there’s too much of it. When he places his palms on the wound, his hands are wet from it within seconds and they tend to slip down on the skin. Is it possible to survive with such blood loss?

“Jesus, this has to work,” he murmurs frantically as he shuts his eyes closed and tries to concentrate. “Come on!”

Really focusing is ridiculously hard and once again, it takes him way too long. But he succeeds in the end and he can feel the growing warmth in his palms as they start to glow and produce the healing energy. Just let it be enough. Basically, Frank is pretty much ready to drain himself completely just to save Gerard. He’d sacrifice all of his energy just to make it work, that’s how important this is. How could he even hesitate at first? If he didn’t, if he didn’t consider saving Jamia – Gerard would live. Frank is sure about that.

He tries to concentrate every atom of the healing energy to the wound he’s healing, praying it would work.

After a few minutes, he can hear a loud thumping in his head, his own heartbeat slowing down a bit. He’s very close to giving up, because his hands still slip every few seconds on the blood. He fights the urge to close his eyes and rest for a second, knowing he would probably never have it in him to open them again. And he has to save Gerard first. Then… then he can rest. He tells himself, “Just five more seconds and then I’ll let it go,” and he repeats the process every five seconds. He’s too stubborn to give up on this.

Frank’s actually surprised when he catches a glimpse of some movements. It awakens another wave of energy that’s been obviously hidden somewhere inside of him and he comes to his senses fully again. He notices Gerard flutters his eyes open and the light in Frank’s hands slowly dies out, making the whole scene look irrational.

Frank pulls away only reluctantly, still kind of scared the wound would still be there. But as he pulls his bloody hands away, the wound’s gone. It’s like it’s never been there in the first place – yes, there’s still all the blood on Gerard’s chest and Frank’s hands, but it looks like it doesn’t belong to either of them. Frank would seriously think this is just some sort of hallucination, but Gerard’s muffled voice sounds too vivid and his touch feels pretty real as well.

“Frankie?” Gerard murmurs and he sits up. He looks down to see his body covered in blood and then he reaches out with his hand, squeezing Frank’s shoulder. “I was shot, wasn’t I?” he asks, confusion written all over his tired face.

“Yeah, you were,” Frank mumbles incoherently and he looks up at Gerard. He clutches the ripped pieces of Gerard’s shirt and pulls him a bit closer. After all that, he finally tears up and his lower lip starts to shake.

“Did you – did you heal me again?” he asks as if he needed confirmation, although Frank is pretty sure Gerard could link it all together.

Frank nods shakily. “Yeah, I did. And Jesus Christ, Gerard, don’t ever make me do that again,” he adds in a soft, tiny voice, as if he couldn’t believe he actually did it.

Because, yes, it sounds surreal. For a moment there, he was pretty sure he’d lost Gerard and that he was giving out all that energy for nothing. It’s incredible, it seems impossible that he managed to save him in the end. For the first time ever, he’s actually thankful for that gift – for that thing in his hands. If it wasn’t for it, he’d never be able to bring Gerard back. And he knows now that would hurt much more than giving up his freedom and going back with Jamia. Losing Gerard would hurt so much more.

Frank sits down on the floor as well and pushes himself closer to Gerard, hugging him awkwardly. He breathes in, remembering how they were lying in bed together, and wishes for nothing more than for Gerard to hug him back.

It happens, eventually. Gerard wraps his arms around Frank in a protective gesture and pulls him closer. Frank nuzzles his face against the only place that’s not covered in blood – Gerard’s hair and the crook of his neck. “You scared me so much, Gerard.”

“I’m so sorry, Frank,” Gerard murmurs and places a soft kiss on the top of Frank’s head. “Hey,” he says suddenly and pulls away to look directly at Frank’s face. “Where are the others? Where’s Jamia?”

“She…” Frank drops his gaze and buries his face in the smell of Gerard’s body again, curling up in his embrace. “She’s dead, I’m afraid.”

“Oh,” is all Gerard says, but it’s enough. They stay in the same position – mainly because Frank is reluctant to even move; he can hear Gerard’s heart beating and that’s exactly what he needs right now – for a few more minutes. Frank feels so stupidly safe and calm in Gerard’s arms that he wouldn’t mind staying here forever, actually.

~

Later that day, Frank is sitting in front of the house in the grass. He still can’t contain how good it feels to be able to bury his fingers in it and smell it, smell the dirt and the sand, but he can’t even be happy about it now.

Jamia’s body is now buried in the ground and although she was a bad person – and Frank knows that very well – it still leaves him quite numb. It’s stupid and not reasonable at all, but he misses her. She was a huge part of his life and the only person he encountered for eighteen years. Of course she left a completely empty space in Frank’s heart. No matter what happened in the past few days. In the end, that doesn’t seem to matter when someone dies. Only the good stuff matters.

Spencer is the first one to get to Frank, standing on his back paws and trying to lick Frank’s face. He’s followed closely by Gerard. He joins Frank by sitting down on the grass and he takes Spencer in his hands, putting him away.

Frank shuffles closer to Gerard without uttering a word, and Gerard silently puts his arm around Frank’s shoulders in a protective way.

“I’m sorry, Frankie,” he says quietly and Frank sighs.

“It was my decision,” he responds sternly. No, he doesn’t really blame Gerard. It was his decision, in the end. He still remembers how it felt – how he wanted to run for Jamia but couldn’t, because there was something much stronger than that. And it kept pulling him to Gerard and he couldn’t do anything but give in to it. Of course he decided to do that. Yeah, he mourns over Jamia’s death, but he knows he’d be back in the tower if he saved her and he would be in a much worse state if he had to mourn over Gerard’s death. He can’t feel the happiness quite yet, but he knows it will come and he’ll be happy that it’s like this.

“Yes, but…” Gerard trails off and stares into nothing for a few seconds. “If I hadn’t screwed up before, they wouldn’t have been chasing me in the first place. It’s my fault.”

“True,” Frank agrees, although it’s only with the first part, not with the second. “But if you lived a happy, innocent life, we never would have met. And I would still be back there, and just… I don’t regret it, you know? I don’t regret any second of this. I’m glad it happened. I’m glad I met you.”

Gerard bows his head as if he was still ashamed, but he doesn’t pull away from Frank. “You saved me,” he mutters and shakes his head. “I don’t get it. Why would anyone do that for me?”

Frank watches Spencer chase a butterfly for a few seconds. He can’t even imagine how low Gerard thinks of himself. But he knows it should be different. Well, yeah, Gerard didn’t lead the life of a nun, but still. He proved – and still proves by sitting here and not running off – that he’s a good man. And he shouldn’t ask something like this, not after everything that happened between them.

A quick flashback pops up in front of Frank’s eyes, full of Gerard’s naked body and full of words uttered in the bed they shared together. And it’s not just that – Frank doesn’t want it to be just that. He knows there’s something more he feels for Gerard, and he doesn’t plan on giving up on it. Not after all this.

“I think it’s because I love you,” Frank mumbles hesitantly, not even sure how he managed to say it out loud. “Yeah. It’s because I love you,” he confirms just seconds later and though it feels weird to say something like that, he means it. He can feel Gerard freeze beside him, like he definitely didn’t expect Frank to say this.

“Aren’t you afraid I’ll run away? How can you even trust me?”

Frank shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess I fear that you will run away, but I hope you won’t. It’s not like I can help what I’m feeling, Gerard.”

“I’ve never been – I’ve never loved anyone, though. I don’t know what to do with this, I don’t know if I won’t screw up again,” Gerard confesses and he finally turns his head to the side to look at Frank.

Frank has fought so much with his own destiny. He fought to break free from Jamia, he fought to keep Gerard alive – it doesn’t seem to be such a problem to fight for Gerard. It takes a lot, yes, but he’s sure he can do it.

“I don’t really care about that,” Frank admits and tries his best to keep eye contact. “I just – if you love me back, right now, then that’s all I need. And you’re the first person to make me feel like this, too, so if you will screw up, I will screw up as well. You can count on that.”

Gerard’s features soften a bit. Frank has no idea if he’s won this one or not, but as he’s pressed against Gerard’s side, he sure knows it doesn’t feel wrong at all. He knows he wants to be this close to Gerard for a long time, and he feels like it won’t fade away. And what they’d shared together and went through together makes it believable that maybe Gerard feels the same.

“I love you, right now,” he says and shuffling on the grass to an awkward and surely uncomfortable position, he leans closer to Frank and cups his cheek with his free hand. “Are you sure you want to start this? Are you sure you want to stay with me and wander around the country until we find a place where we could stay?”

Frank nods without hesitation. “Stupid. Where else would I go? You’re my home now.” There’s a grin forming on Gerard’s face when Frank closes the gap between them and presses his lips against Gerard’s. It still feels so new to him and he simply can’t get enough. He climbs onto Gerard’s lap and wraps his arms around his so he could be as close to him as possible.

They pull apart after a while, though, when Spencer starts paying attention to them and keeps poking Frank’s side with his head. Gerard giggles and rubs Spencer’s ears. “Do you want to stay here for a few days?” he asks, still looking up at Frank.

Frank nods, finding a comfortable position on Gerard’s lap. He has no intentions on leaving this spot any time soon. “Yeah. And then,” he says and runs his fingers through Gerard’s hair, “I want to go to some village and… I was thinking… maybe we could find someone who could take my gift away from me? I don’t want it anymore.”

Gerard frowns, but decides to let it go. Whatever he wanted to say back, he ends up nodding instead. “Okay. If that’s what you want, Frankie, we’ll find someone.” He smiles reassuringly at him and pecks the corner of his mouth slightly.

Frank grins down at him. “Don’t worry, though, my hands will still possess some magical qualities just for you,” he says as he slides his palm down Gerard’s chest and rests it just above the hem of his pants.

The End.